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7. I hate wasting time.
8. I love postcards.
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| light and heat
Yesterday was very enjoyable. I took a break and retreated, literally. And every time a nagging pressure crept into my heart, I threw it out the window and returned to rest. One of the best moments was probably lying on the cool cement of a basketball court and looking up into the darkness of the night sky, dotted with stars, and seeing one shoot across the sky so vividly. It reminded me of sadder times, when I tried to share my stories and excitement with you and you blew me off; and the time we saw one together, or at least thought we did. It reminded me of summer nights and meteor showers with long-time friends in the middle of a park, surrounded by the quiet clicking of the sprinklers. It reminded me of how this beautiful creation reflects its beautiful Creator.
Psalm 8:3-4
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
and the son of man that you care for him?
This also reflects what I've been learning lately, namely that God is much bigger than I think He is; much more powerful, knowledgeable, holy, and wonderful than I can imagine.
let your kingdom come, Lord break this heart
i will live to carry your compassion
to love a world that's broken
to be your hands and feet
-- the power of your name; lincoln brewster
Other facts:
4. I don't pick up the phone unless I know who's calling me. Leave a message if you want me to talk to you.
5. I have a newfound interest! Its name is Yoplait Thick and Creamy French Vanilla yogurt. :) Add granola (ie just the clusters vanilla almond granola from Trader Joes) or blackberries and it's even better.
6. I am considering drastically cutting carbs out of my diet.
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high heels and glossy photographs
1. I don't have many favorites. I think I'm rather neutral, really. But the best cereal is Honey Nut Cheerios, and I got some on sale the other day! My breakfasts, lunches, and snacks are now complete! (or completely full of Cheerios?)
2. You can't avoid something aversive forever. At some point, you need to face it. You need to face it and deal with it and struggle with it and win the battle because it's not being won when you run and hide. I don't completely agree with what I just said, but I can't clarify it in my head very well, because (continue to #3)
3. My blood has been replaced by coffee. I feel it in my veins. Perpetual four-hour nights aren't very healthy!
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mommy of mine
"Jesus Christ, who had all the power in the world, saw us enslaved by the very things we thought would free us. So he emptied himself of his glory and became a servant (Philippians 2). He laid aside the infinities and the immensities of his being and, at the cost of his life paid the debt for our sins, purchasing us the only place our hearts can rest, in his Father’s house.” --Tim Keller, The Prodigal God
The Bible isn't about do's and dont's and religion, it's about a love story, and the most beautiful love story. It says that God wants us as His bride; He also wants to adopt us into His family. Are you just doing religion, or are you experiencing the fullness of joy that comes through this amazing relationship? Don't go to church to say "Hey God, look at me, I'm so good"; go to church because of grace, and because God cares when we don't, and because our response to this should be 'Are you kidding me??! No way. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." (this is what I learned from Francis Chan's sermon, When Sin Looks More Enjoyable Than God; http://www.cornerstonesimi.com/)
The best thing my mother has done for me is point me to Christ. And she has done a lot of great things. If I could be half the woman she is I would be so happy. These things that I read and learn to know God better are all because my mother showed me the way to God, demonstrated it in her life, and continues to exhort me, time after time, to cling to the cross. Even when I had no idea what that meant, or even when I was in no emotional position to take that advice well, she reminded me - and continues to remind me - to focus on Jesus. And so I thank her today, and all days, and am thankful to God for her.
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jalapeno kettle chips for the win
Mostly, I'm delirious at night, but sometimes, the best clarity comes at the strangest hours.
I like arbitrary titles.
I've realized that a lot of my 'problems' come from the idea that I deserve something. I deserve to be served, or praised, or thanked, or recognized, my heart tells me. It tells me that it's a horrible offense that I gave and was forgotten. And so as I ran errands last night in the warm (weird) (I love May) 11PM weather, I started talking to God and he revealed the ugly state of my heart. I am, at all times, doing better than I deserve. He was gracious enough to point that out to me! And I would do well to remember and live by this truth.
"It is he who remembered us in our low estate,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
and rescued us from our foes,
for his steadfast love endures forever;
he who gives food to all flesh,
for his steadfast love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven,
for his steadfast love endures forever."
--Psalm 136:23-26
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